Carl Suggestions for 09/24/2000

This week's panel suggested by Grant Schreiber

Awwww...

As always, suggestions are listed in the order they were received. Thanks for playing and please join us again next Sunday!

--Scott
Sunday 09/24/2000

Nat Gertler

Mom: "Elvis was your dad, before he became a vampire."
Zombie Elvis is crawling out of a grave with an RIP Carl tombstone.
Live Elvis stands behind Carl. "Can't be mah 'stone; mah middle name only has one 'A'" (It's true!)

Matt

(Carl's walking home, hands in pockets, bleeding from the head, down a peaceful suburban sidewalk at sunset:) Man, this internal bleeding can sure wear a guy down, though."
(To the lion that was chasing the ibex:) "Are you after the old and infirm?"
(Looking at Dad, who enters the frame in full wrinkly zombie mode) They sure did a number on mom, though!
*Sniff* Mom... you deserve a proper burial (Mom's been pushed into the dirt, with just her arms and legs sticking up out of the ground.)
Scott's giant pen enters the frame and impales Carl against the background. Scott: "Is that a challenge?" Carl: "Aw C'MON!"

Josiah Rowe

I didn't realize that "Zot!" vols. 1-3 were still available! I gotta go harass the guys at my comics shop to order them for me! (I have an ancient copy of Vol. 1, but haven't seen the others at all.)

Carl says, "After that, I really need a drink!"
Yeah, I know, it's obvious... maybe I'll be more clever sometime over the next two weeks. Just wanted to get in near the top of the list for once. (Gee, I'm like those losers at AICN who always post, "I'm first!" I really suck.)

Jonathan Wiener

We see Carl speaking. "Right, Mom? ... Hey, Mom, are you OK or what?"

Kevin Pease

Carl: "I'm all shook up."

David Kennedy

Carl looking confused "Rampaging Ibex? You'd have thought that was enough to kill me. Is it really the right time of year for them?"

Rusty Priske

Carl, looking like a buffed-up muscle-boy. Carl: And whatever doesn't kill me, makes me stronger!

joe myers

love your work, scott

"Just enough to make me really, really angry!" Close up of carls face with jagged teeth and swirling eyes

PJM

CARL: I'm going to complain to the authorities about those pesky ibex!
A big, Arnie-style ibex with a massive gun runs up. ARNIE IBEX: "No! But this is, Carl!"
Carl looks over at his injured mom. CARL: "Oh my god, Mom!!!!!"
An environmentalist walks up. ENVIRONMENTALIST: "Excuse me, did you know ibex are an endangered species? You could have harmed them by letting them trample you!"
MOM: "Carl! I told you not to drink and drive! Now you're hallucinating!"
CARL: "Hang on! That's no ibex, it's..." (leaving the frame on a cliffhanger)
CARL: "I'll have to try a different suicide technique..."

Dark Artist

Carl says, "Man, I'm thirsty. Where's the nearest bar?" And of course, he still staggers and stammers and looks bedraggled, but he is temporarily out of danger. You might want to put one ibex in the background that has become separated from the group as well.

matthew jeske

I swear to give up beer and live with the animals

Morgan Doninger

Must.. keep.. promiss to girlfriend... blacking out!

A penguin dressed in samauri armor and brandishing his sword at Carl thinks "True."
If we work the penguin in, I can recommend a cool penguin website for everybody. Wink, Knudge, Wink.

Michael Rubinstein

Traumatized by the death of his parents, Carl decides to dedicate his life to becoming the bane of criminals everywhere, as... IBEX-MAN!
The angry herd swings around for another pass. Carl says "Gah!" and flees.
Having discovered that he's pretty hardy around wildlife, Carl decides to seek a career as a zookeeper, or a nature guide, or maybe hosting a show on the Discovery Channel.
Hey! Maybe a cool way to go would be to explore WHY Carl wasn't killed by the stampede. Maybe he's an indestructable robot! Or a vampire... but that's too predictable at this point, isn't it? I like robot better. Anyway, the next panel(s) could be Carl going to the hospital to get checked out, or already there, "Well Doc?", and the doctor's all freaked out, and begins "Carl, I don't know how to tell you this, but you're..." That could build some suspense.
Carl spots Elvis.
Carl grieves over his mother. "Mom, I promise, I'll never drink again!"
Enter: Marlin Perkins.

Doug Shaw

Cut to a bunch of IBEXes, all sitting around a campfire, depressed, and one of them is saying, "I just can't believe we didn't kill him." Some are smoking cigarettes.

Mia Descandion

Hi! Ok, my website address is http://reynardx.tripod.com/reynardpage/ AND, if that wasn't cool enough, did you know that our little catholic school actually considered using understanding comics as a textbook? Really! And we aren't some arty school (in fact, our main draw is our football team, although that changed because our last principal left, and he was the only faculty member who was football obbsessed) and our math department. So when I was talking with my science fiction teacher the other day and he mentioned you (I was bragging, of course, that I had MET you and had talked to you AND was on your website) and he mentioned how he and the new principal, Dr Salley (Who is an art lady) discussed using the book in one of the classes, I was quite pleased. Oh, yes, and suggestions too.

Carl: But it was enough to Kill mom!
Carl: Hmm...Ibex only stampede when provoked... (shadowy figure in background)
Carl: The ibex are on the loose! This looks like a job for....
CArl: Oh no, my mother is dead, my father is dead, and ...wait, is the pepsi challenge rigged?
Carl: Oh My God! The pepsi challenge IS rigged! You Bastards!
three words: drunk sock monkeys (ok, five if you count the first two and 21 if you count all of them together)
Carl: Oh my god, I was nearly killed by a stampede of Ibex! Oh my god, that dog has a fluffy tail! (all apologies to matt groening)
Carl: Man, you know what I need? The A-Team! They can get to the bottom of this!
Carl: I think I want some rice.
Just thought you might like to know that some non art centered high school is considering using Understanding Comics! Oh, and it wasn't a rhetorical question. IS THE PEPSI CHALLENGE RIGGED? I need to know!

Stephan Pfuetze

Carl, aghast that his mom is dead, starting to do CPR 'n other paramedic stuff he's seen on "ER": "Mom!! No, not you too!"

Gregg Lamse

A demon with an ibex head is sitting on Carl's right shoulder. "Get a beer, Carl." A demon with an ibex head is sitting on his other shoulder and says, "No, get 3."

Shane Semler

Frog walks up. Frog: "Whazuuuuup!" Carl: "Hey, who are you?" Frog: "I'm the old Bud spokesfrog. Wanna get a beer?" Carl: "Sure!"
Herd of water buffalo stampede over Carl.
Nature show host runs up and tags Carl's ear.

Mike Yi

Whoa. This is a hard panel, but I guess I'll throw in my two cents...

Carl's Dad mysteriously pops out again, and says "But this will kill you!" Carl says "Dad?!" a la upper right panel in the section.
Really, that was hard to come up with. Good job on your work, Scott. On another note... How's it gonna end? Agh! No, I'm not talking about CYOC, I'm talking about ZOT! Online! Great story, great cliffhangers at the end of each episode. How will it all conclude in two episodes, that's what I want to know! Agh...

[Just got the go ahead to make Z.O. a full 16 episodes, so keep wondering! --Scott]

Glen Seymour

Well, the ibex bit definitely took this path on a surreal bent. Therefore, I'll go with that.

The pink elephant returns, almost crushing Carl. (I still like elephants)
Carl stands arms akimbo and exclaims - "I must have super powers!" (I've always like the word "akimbo", it sounds like something the cartoon Tarzan would say)
Carl puts one finger on chin and asks ,"Was that really my mom?"
Carl looks paniced (with wavy lines out of his head) "Did my mom survive?!"
Carl looks down at himself, "I've got to change out of these clothes."
Carl wags a finger, "Those Ibex shouldn't drink and stampede!"
Carl looks out at us with his head tilted to the side, "Do you ever feel your life is completely random?"
Carl picks up a book, "Look it's my favorite comic!" You can clearly read the title "Zot" (how's that for sucking up?)
I did, in fact, purchase Reinventing Comics this week and am in the process of devouring it (needs salt).

Grant Schreiber

"Warning! Please Don't Read Carl if Running for Political Office!" (Just want make the web safe for Al, Joe, George and Dick).

Military Brass, General Electric Chair, points towards us shouting: "He's the one I want for Project G-Whiz-9!!"
Zookeeper Sam offering hand to Carl: "You've got a career in herd management!"
Dr Very Bad in his hidden HQ: "The ibex failed! Release Gigi, the man-eating amphibious poodle!"
Close up of Carl, a single tear rolling down his check. Thought balloon: "But can I survive a Broken Heart?"

Michael Rubinstein

But wait, there's more!

wide shot of carl crawling into a bar or liquor store (he's walked or crawled all the way there): "God, I need a DRINK!"
As a change of pace, have all the action take place off-camera, with the only visible thing being Carl's flying sweat. There's some really loud sound effect, like "RUMBLE!" or "BOOM!" or "BWAHAHA!" and a word-balloon from Carl saying "Oh Lord, NOW what??"
An ibex-herder runs past Carl, chasing the herd, crying "Leigh-hee-ho, leigh-hee-ho, Leigh-hee-ho!"
Carl does a victory dance. "All right! No parents, no rules!!"
Carl is in his mother's attorney's office, being read her will. "Your mother said you can have everything, Carl. There's only one condition..." Carl: "Wow! What??" (Of course, this leads to the next panel looking like the traditional first panel, with the attorney saying "Promise me you won't drink and drive, Carl.")
The dungeon master appears. "True, Carl, you rolled a high number that time. But wait til you see what I have planned *next*!"
Carl grabs a lame ibex and chews it up, swallowing it up.
Carl stands up and says "Hey, where the hell am I, anyway?"
Carl staggers off in search of Daisy and/or Brian Boitano.
Carl takes up studying Marxism.
Hey, I was wondering... how do you know that was really Neil Gaiman who made that suggestion for Carl way back? It could have been anyone!

[Oh, it was Neil! I've talked to him about it since. --Scott]

Zack Adgie

"I sure could use a beer!"
"Hey mom, want a be... OH MY GOD! MOM! AUGGH!!"
"Not for a few frames, at least."
Now would be an ideal time to begin some tripped out comatose acid trip dream sequence...
Show the classic tombstone frame with "RIP ETHEL" on it...
Ok, so thor is FORBIDDEN... but is Zot? Crossover series! Woo!
Well, the ibek were STAMPEDING, right? Which means they had to be running from something.... Enter: Lions.
If this were a cheezy comedy movie which milked all the cliches, then this would be the frame that the straggling baby ibek ran by, preferably right over carl.
Carl in traction, doctor standing next to him... "Drive? HA HA HA!"
Inspired by the stampeding ibek tramping over him, Carl discovers the grand unification formula or whatever its called - its almost 3am and I can't quite remember...

Lukas Chen

D'oh. I forgot that we were after the Ibex. So, um... please don't show my other post, Scott. please?

As a herd of pronking pink winged elephants loom into view (yes, _pronking_ elephants), an ownerless speech bubble states. But THAT would.

Greg Lam

Carl is on life support in a hospital. The familiar "beep... beep... beep..." of the heart monitor in the background.

Travis Pelkie

Carl sez, "I mean, it take something really big to kill me, like . . ." Something in the background to indicate something bigger coming, that other Carl posters can decide.
Carl sez, "Think I'll have a drink to celebrate!" Of course, that'll kill him, sooner or later.
Okay, that's enough for now. I said carl posters above, meaning those of us who post things here, but let me mention CYOC posters (y'know, on paper and stuff). I personally don't think copyright is too much of a problem. Take as point one the "Gerhard factor" with Cerebus. Dave Sim fully owns Cerebus, even though he doesn't fully create Cerebus. You fully own Carl, but you don't fully create CYOC. Besides, I think most of us posting realize that it's one of those "All rights to postings go to Scott" type things. Also, who's going to prove who they really are to get all the big $$$ that the Carl posters will make? ;)

[You've obviously never heard Dave Sim go on about Gerhard ownership of his part of Cerebus! It's truly surreal. --Scott]

Michael Martin

I'll toss out the obvious ones...

"Time for a drink to take the pain away!"
Arrival of an ambulance to treat his wounds. He's got a while before he dies on this path...
Gosh, that lower right panel is Carl's Final Death. Kind of sad, really...

Simon Reinhardt

Suddenly Carl is shown in hell next to the devil. Carl shouts "I said that didn't hurt enough to kill me!! Please?"
To Scott- Choose your own Carl is great and I'm gonna buy a copy of Reinventing Comics.

Jeremy

He looks at himself and realizes, "Good Gravy! I'm now invincible!"
It can be a sort of Highlander riff. Or not.

Tad Ramspott

Had a few hopefully novel ideas this week. :)

Carl walks down the street, whistling, with an ibex trotting by his side.
With a car-horn SFX, Carl looks up to see looming overhead ... an out-of-control ambulance heading straight at him.
Carl's Mom: "That's because ... Carl ... your father ..."
Daisy: "No, that's my job."

Markus Gerwinski

The obvious one first: A lot of hunters are after the ibex. Carl, convinced he's invulnerable now, calmly passes through the center of their bullet hailstorm.
Carl bends over his dead mother: "Oh no, not AGAIN!!!"
Two suspicious guys are watching Carl from behind a rock: "I think he's the one."

Doug Waldron

Carl scratches his head: "Now what was I about to do?"
Mysterious men in dark suits: "Carl, you'd better come with us."
A bright light shines on Carl from above.
Carl sits and moans for a while.
Carl wakes up in a hospital. Doctor: "The only way we could save you was to transplant your head onto the body of a GORILLA!"
This panel is just too open-ended.

Doug Waldron

Oops! Did you realize the "you are here" panel is in a different place on the Big Big Picture? You may get some strange suggestions because of that.

[I "may get some strange suggestions" he says... As opposed to --? Anyway, sorry about the dot thing. I noticed Nat Gertler fell prey to that mistake.--Scott]

Simon Reinhardt

Sorry about the first suggestion, didn't notice the other panel saying the same thing.

Carl's mom says "you're not dead, because the Ibex were a hallucination.

Patrick A Reid

Look out below! It's a shameless plug!

A fork. Just a fork. Non-sequinned.
http://members.xoom.com/picklenet Hasn't been updated in a while. Will be soonish.

nick derington

"However it is enough to make me become a Pirate!" Have an Ibex walking the Plank!

Tom Scudder

Tough one to write for - we gots closure (sort of) already.

"Good thing I was wearing my Ibex-proof vest!"
(Exterior view of hospital. Word balloon comes out one of the windows): "We can rebuild him. We have the technology."
Carl pulls out a schematic of the CYOC grid. "See, I can't die for another five panels!"
Alternately, we have a top view of Carl climbing up "above" the strip to get a look around. His fingers are wrapped around the edge of the panel and project out. "Ack! Five panels to live!"
Frail word balloon from mom's corpse: "Carl ... promise ... me ... you ... won't ..."
Daisy arrives on the scene: "Oh my god, Carl!"
Carl, glowing hoof-print on his chest: "One of those Ibexes must have been RADIOACTIVE!"
PS - Hey, *I* liked the New Adventures of Abe L.

[Awww... Thank you. --Scott]

George Gibson

Uh, Hi?

A white-haired man in a suit enter, stage left. "I'm Marvin Perkins and I have a job for you." (Carl) "But you're dead!"
(Dramatic closeup of Carl) "But who released the ibex?"
Carl is run over by a drunken zoo-keeper who is chasing the ibex.

Bill Fleet

I love your site, and the current Zot strip. Thanks!

Suddenly, introspectively, closeup: Carl: But what IS enough to kill me? (large mass of dark somethings approaching from horizon)
Carl (dancing happily out into traffic, arms stretched skyward): I'm ALIVE! Life is BEAUTIFUL!
Daisy (taking him in her arms): Carl, are you all right? Carl: I'm great! Ghosts of Mom and Dad: Except for us haunting you forever...
Carl: Except I have SUCH a headache... Daisy (trying to read bottle): Are these tablets aspirin or rat poison?
Carl (just being missed by): Look! An ice cream truck! Daisy: Ooh! Chocolate!
Referee (blowing whistle): You're interfering with an Olympic event! Carl: But rhythmic Ibex wrangling is only an exhibition sport!
Carl (flipping a tab): I need more drugs! Floating Purple Buddha Ibex (gliding in from right): You must consider the consequences of your actions, Grasshopper...

Dan Pollard

Carl: After all that I could use a drink. Now where are my car keys?
(I like that joke okay.)
Alternate Carl from waaaay back shows up, Alternate Carl: MOM! what have you done you evil clone/imposter/twin (Delete as applicable :) )

Mr. ?

Carl fingers his sharp pointy teeth and says: "I guess I am a vampire!"
Carl's lower half has been devoured by flesh-eating Ibex! Carl:"Well, that's a fine kettle of fish!"
Carl get's hit by a beer truck. Nuff said.
Carl wakes up from his hallucination to discover he is passed out on his couch, holding his car keys. Carl: "Wow, it was nothing but a dream. ... How cliche!"
An Ibex is about to fall on Carl. But how did it get up so high? Carl: "I am INDESTRUCTABLE!"
Probably suggested by a boat-load of people allready, but... Carl glances back and sees his mangled dead body. Carl: "Oh %$#!"
Daisy at Carl's funeral. Daisy: "I can't believe he's actually dead! Sob!" Carl's ghost: "But I'm right here!"
Carl passing out on the street Carl "I guess it was enough to give me massive internal organ damage, though. Ow!"
And now, The Artist Self-referencing Suggistion: Enter Zot!!

Tim M

Hi Scott. Loved Understanding Comics. I read it when I was 11.

"And that which doesn't kill me, only makes me stronger!"; and all that that implies.
However, yet one more Ibex tramples over Carl. It would be funny if it was fatal but there isn't any tombstone coming up so I guess it can't be. sigh.
"Hm, I wonder if that's because I was meant to die from drunk driving to prove a point. (pause) nah."
"Poor Mom. (sigh) she's dead and I feel as if it's all my fault."
"It's a miracle! This must be my chance to go back and BE A BETTER PERSON!"
Oh, how about "suddenly..." "Help, I've burst into flames!" kidding, kidding...

bryan young

the obvious one is, "Man I could sure use a drink!"

Penny

Lead ibex says "Drat, we missed him." The ibex reverse direction, making a second attempt to utterly squish Carl.

Noah

A giant foot appears from above and starts coming down. A voice says "But this is!" or "Hah! Hah! Hah!!" or something like that.
Carl, who is very dazed, then accidently falls off a cliff or bridge or something.
Carl's mom get's up and heads for Carl again.
One of the Ibex (maybe a little Ibex) comes back and rams Carl.
A message saying "Meanwhile..." appears. Carl's Mom, Carl's Dad, Satan, a vampire, and a Bond-type villian are seated at a table, plotting how to kill Carl!

James "DexX" Dominguez

Been away for a while, but now I am back with a vengeance. Precisely what I am avenging is a mystery to even me, but, uh... on with the suggestions...

Carl lies sprawled on the ground in a cloud of dust, muttering, "I really need a beer."
Carl stands before not one but TWO headstones, one marked MOM and the other marked DAD, saying to himself, "Now I'm depressed!"
(following on from the previous idea) Closeup on Carl's stricken face, as he says, "Oh no! I'm an orphan!"
(following on from the previous idea) Carl stands over his two deceased parents, looking upset, maybe letting out a little "Mom? Dad?" if space permits. The Artful Dodger has popped up beside him, saying, "Ullo there. Are you an orphan?"
That'll do me... I think I am too late anyway...

Tim Morgan

Close-up shot of Carl's head, wide eyed.
"Uh oh..."

zoom out