This week's panel suggested by

  • Josiah Rowe (both for dialogue and for the visual suggestion later on)
  • Nat Gertler
  • Markus Gerwinski (sort of)
  • Jonathan L. Miller
  • Matt Latterell

Oh, look! A Tombstone!

Please the forgive the Japanese-style flash panel, but we still had two settings to reconcile and this seemed the easiest way.

As always, suggestions are listed in the order they were received. Thanks for playing and please join us again next Sunday!

Sunday 07/18/1999

Douglass Barre (Age 28)

  • CARL sitting on his DAD's knee, as DAD gesticulates... DAD: "Well, son, it all started many years ago..." We notice "flashback waves" creeping up the bottom of the panel.
  • DAD lifts his head from his shoulders, revealing himself to be a robot. DAD'S HEAD: "They had the technology. They could rebuild me."
  • DAD waves a liquor bottle in his hand. DAD: "But this stuff preserved my body, y'see!"
  • DAD puts his hand on CARL's shoulder and we see that he's got angel wings. DAD: "I've come to show you what life would be like without you, Carl..." (I like this one particularly as it actually ties into Neil's panel, mostly forgotten in this segment...)
  • CARL'S DAD takes out a strange device and shows it to CARL. DAD: "Have you ever heard of the Microverse of Nataal, son?"
  • GOD appears behind the two, smiling kindly. GOD: "I brought him back to give you a very important message, Carl!"
  • We see CARL'S DAD's car in the background, with two bimbos in it, waving at him. CARL'S DAD has his arm around CARL. DAD: "You're not going to tell your mom about this, are you?"

Jesse Rimler

  • Carl and Carl's Father Embrace. Carl's Dad: But now I'm DEAD SERIOUS about being a good father! Carl: Aw, gee dad... I guess I'm just a hokey guy at heart.

    When this is posted Eyes Wide Shut will have opened everywhere. I'll have seen it twice by then. What did you think, Scott? Anyone else? What were your reactions?

[Having kids as we do, Ivy and I switch off movies, but once in a long while we actually spring for a babysitter. That's exactly what we will have done by the time you read this (on Sunday). Ivy and I and our friends Krystal and Theresa will have seen the matinee showing of, umm... actually RUN LOLA RUN. But, hey, Eyes Wide Shut? Definitely next! --Scott]

Greg Lam

    Leo DeCaprio in Zot! ? OK, how about Keanu Reeves as Carl when THAT movie comes out.

  • Mom enters again. She says: "Then again, we were never technically *alive*." Carl swings around, shocked. "MOM!?"
  • Dad: "Then again, I was never TECHNICALLY your dad, either."

[Keanu Reeves IS Carl. --Scott]

Nat Gertler

    Carl must die!

  • Brian Boitano looks up at the panel above and thinks "Hmmm, if I were Carl, what would I do?"
  • A puppeteer, his arms in the air... we can see the bottom of the shirts of the hand puppets dangling down, making it clear that the puppets are Carl and Dad in the panel above. He is speaking out of the corner of his mouth, saying "...but I have arisen to tell you a terrible secret!"
  • Dad: "...but so are you! Welcome to heaven!"
  • Dad: "...but the death certificate tied up in red tape!"
  • Dad: "...I'm just a clone of your dad!" Sea of dads behind him: "We all are!"
  • Dad: I am just here to make you an offer on your soul!
  • Carl pulls a gun on Dad. "So much for technicalities! I killed you once, I can do it again!"

    What gets me is that if you follow the correct path, Carl meets his Dad in a bar, decides he needs a drink, and they leave the bar and go to a liquor store to get it! I kinda wanted to reenter all the ones I had entered for the equivalent panel (one up and over), but figured if they didn't make the cut last time...

Bill Schlimme

    I don't get it.

  • Dad: "But then, you're not doing too well in that department, either, are you, son?" Laughs. Carl looks confused, as is his wont.
  • Dad: "Tell me son, have you ever seen the movie 'Carnival of Souls'?"
  • Dad, pointing: "But then again, so is she!" Carl: "MOM?!"
  • Carl, in fear: "So are you going to eat my brains or something?" Dad, laughing: "Don't be stupid, son, I'd die of malnutrition!"
  • Dad: "Although nowadays we prefer the more death-positive term, 'mortally challenged'."

    In spite of not getting it (and I rarely do), I must say that this is by far my favorite section so far. No repeating panels, no Daisys popping up for no apparent reason, and is it just me, or is the artwork getting just a little more sophisticated? I mean, incorporating a photo? I heartily approve. And this string actually seems to have a plot! Huzzah!

[I like this one too. Nice and understated. Okay, relatively understated. --Scott]

Mike Sugarbaker

  • Dad raises his glass in the manner of a triumphant hero on a revolutionary propaganda poster. Dad: "But I'm still kicking, thanks to... BEER!"
  • Carl: "Wait a minute... what's that you're drinking?" Dad: "Formaldehyde."
  • Dad sneaks a peek at the circuitry and gears visible inside his chest, underneath his shirt. Carl: "God, I need a drink!" Dad (thought balloon): "Uh oh - I'm low on lubricant!"

    I will not win. No I won't. You'd better not pick mine.

adam ford

    Well, I have no frickin' idea who Brian Boitano is. Throw me a frickin' bone here, people...

  • Okay, since you went with some obscure US cultural reference with the last one, here's an obscure Australian reference to trump you. Brian Boitano: "Why, Carl, I'd ask Bert Newton!" (Brian points to Bert, standing behind and to the left) - I can easily provide photos of Bert -
  • Carl: "I know! He'd stab dad in the heart with a big wooden stake, cut his head off, fill his mouth with garlic and then burn him to ash! Good ol' Brian!" Dad: Yikes!
  • Brian Boitano is revealed to be a vampire too.
  • Brian Boitano is revealed to be Frankenstein.
  • Brian Boitano is revealed to be the wolfman.
  • Brian Boitano is revealed to be the mummy.
  • Brian Boitano is revealed to be CARL's mummy.
  • Brian Boitano is revealed to be the Creature from the Black Lagoon.
  • Suddenly it is revealed that reality as we know it is a massive computer-generated conspiracy created by a race of sentient computers who keep us docile in a dreamworld while they feed off our life force. Then Thor Enters.
  • Oh, heck, Scott. YOU decide what happens. Where are Ivy, Winter and Sky? Haven't seen their suggestions for a while...

    Yippee ti-yi-yay, pardnuh. Still looking for some online way of getting my mitts on Comics Journal 211. Little help?

[Y'know what, Adam? I have an extra copy. Would a Self-Adressed stamped envelope to Australia be practical? As for Winter and Sky, our routine has been a little scrambled this summer with Sky in summer camp and such and Ivy in a local production of 3 Musketeers so we haven't always remembered or been organized enough to get everybody in front of the computer in time for Carl. --Scott]

Matt Latterell

    This is a difficult frame! Whoo! Anyway, this whole Carl thing is groovy and lots of fun.

  • Carl's father: Yes after seeing it, I don't even think those Phantom Menace tickets were worth death!
  • Carl's Pappy: I am here now because I was sent to earth to stop the Austin Powers Action Figure controversy.
  • Carl: You have to be dead! I saw your neck get caught in the pencil sharpener!
  • Carl's Dad: But now that doesn't matter, because you're dead too and we can live together forever!!!!! (Don't ask me!)
  • Dr. Frankenstein: Ah my undead creation! Is this boy your son? I must have him!
  • Carl's Old Man: Actully I am one of a million genetic clones made to look just like me!
  • Carl' Viagra has given me a new will to live!
  • Carl's dad: Wait a minute...your not who I thought you were...nevermind! Carl: Okay bye!
  • Carl's dad: I am a spirit from the afterlife and Carl...there is nothing you can do! You are always destined to die in the last panel!

    I was in an unusually happy mood when I did this but...hey! It's good stuff, and I won't rest til I get my name on a frame!!! So watch out fellow readers! jk....jees, what am I on? Oh well, thats all for now END TRANSMISION

Morgan Doninger

    I can't resist, and I'm goin' to the well with the first one again.

  • Carl's Dad: "I was living in New Jersey!"
  • Carl's Dad: "I thought I burst into flame when Thor entered, but it was all a dream... uh on the other hand, maybe not."
  • Carl's Dad quickly tries to change the subject. Carl's Dad: "Wanna play five card Nancy?"
  • Carl's Dad: "But I got better."
  • Carl's Dad: "But being dead just ate up all my free time."
  • Carl: "Really?" Carl's Dad: " No. I just hate you and your Mom."
  • Carl's Dad: " I was mostly dead."

Patric Lewandowski

    south park.... hee hee hee......... Well, now I get to reuse some of my earlier suggestions.......

  • Dad opens chest to reveal circuitry. "You see, Carl, I'm a robot!"
  • the vampire thing again.
  • Dad: "Doctors make mistakes"

    I'm done. I can't think twice on the same setup this close together at this time at night.........

Josiah Rowe

    Most of these were ideas I had for the panel that eventually became "God, I need a drink!", but if at first you don't succeed...

  • Dad: "...but there's a big difference between `technically dead' and `all dead'!" (Apologies to William Goldman.)
  • Dad: "...but that was just for tax purposes." (Apologies to Douglas Adams.)
  • Dad: "I am thy father's spirit, doomed for a certain term to walk the night..." (Apologies to Bill Shakespeare! Well, Carl does have a problem with follow-through on promises, and he does dress in black...)
  • Or if you like the last idea, but want Dad to cut to the chase, he could just say "Avenge my most foul murder!" [It's `revenge' in Shakespeare, but we don't use that as a verb much anymore...]
  • Dad: "In life, I was your father...." Carl: "Humbug!" Dad: "You will be haunted by three spirits..." (Apologies to Chas. Dickens)
  • Dad: "I should have listened to your mother about drinking and driving." (Perhaps Carl and Dad share a panel of "REMORSE" like the "GUILT" panel in Section 1.)
  • Carl: TECHNICALLY?!? Dad: "Carl, you're going to find that many of the truths we cling to depend greatly on our own point of view." We notice that Dad is slightly translucent. (Apologies to George Lucas and Lawrence Kasdan.)
  • Dad: "...but so is Elvis!" Carl: "Huh?"
  • Carl: "This is crazy! I wish I had never been born!" Dad (looking heavenward): "Hmmm... that's an idea. Joseph?" (Apologies to Frank Capra and whoever wrote the story/screenplay)
  • Dad: "...but so are you, my son!"

Markus Gerwinski

  • In a laboratory, we see two scientists standing besides an open glass coffin. Their faces express horror, and one of them says: "We must get him back, before...!"
  • Carl bursts into flames, ah, tears and embraces his believed-to-be-lost Dad, who tries to calm him: "Shh, it's okay." Behind his back, Dad is hiding a syringe.
  • Dad finishes the phrase begun above: "... but since the insurance company refused to pay, I can as well be alive again."
  • Dad, realizing he 'technically' should be dead, breaks down and dies.
  • Dad: "On the other hand... how many times did you already die, son?"
  • Dad: "After some time, you get used to it."

    One question: Who the hell is Brian Boitano?!

[Click on the face and all will be revealed! --Scott]

Josiah Rowe

    On to the second form...

  • Dad: "...but death isn't the handicap it used to be." (Apologies to Rob Grant and Doug Naylor.)
  • Dad: "Yes, ever since I met Thor and burst into flame..." Carl: "I must be dreaming!"
  • Carl's Mom appears beside his father. Mom: "Yes, son..." (This is interesting. Is she another ghost [as the path from the left would have it], or is she alive [as from above]?)
  • Dad: "...but on the third day I rose again." We notice that Dad has holes in his hands and sides. (Apologies to half the civilized world.)
  • Dad: "...but my plan worked! I have conquered death! Ha ha ha ha!!!" We see that Carl's dad is completely insane.
  • Variation on the above. Caption: "Later, in Carl Sr.'s secret laboratory..." Dad: "...and here's where I found out that the secret to eternal life is... BEER!"
  • Dad: "...but don't you see, son? I HAD to make them think I was dead! It was the only answer!"
  • Dad (looking very mystical): "The boundary between life and death is much more permeable than most people think."
  • Dad: "I was actually hiding out in Borneo!" Carl: "BORNEO?!?"
  • Oh, a thought about one of my earlier suggestions: in the idea about Carl being dead too, you could have Carl's dad show him that right next to the tombstone reading "R.I.P. MOM" is the one reading "R.I.P. Carl"!

Piers Beckley

  • Enter: Satan.
  • Dad draws his sword. Dad: There can be only one!
  • Dad: My insurance is going to go through the roof.
  • Carl: How did you manage it?
  • Rassilon: Immmmmmmmmmmortality!
  • Dad is standing on a chair with a noose around his neck Dad (caption): It started when I tried to hang myself...
  • Dad: But if you try to kill yourself and fail, all your hair falls out

Brian Dieter

  • But this is a comic. In comics noone stays dead for long
  • but, I faked my own death.
  • but reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated
  • but, this is just a dream
  • but, so are you!!!
  • but, that was really my twin brother, Brad.
  • but, Hell didn't want me and Heaven was afraid I'd take over. So, I came back. (Note: the switching of heaven and hell in the phrase is intentional

dan wheeler

  • carl's dad: ... but i prefer to call it BORN AGAIN!
  • carl's dad: ... but technically you're an asshole carl.
  • carl's dad: ... but, then again, you're not technically my son.

    i hope you asked brian boitano's permission to use his likeness (*snicker* not that i really think that the south park guys did either...)

[It wasn't until suggestions like Dan's came in that I realized how pitifully behind on South Park I was (I've seen maybe six episodes -- too much work, not enough time) and that the B.B. reference was actually a S.P. reference. Okay, so I'm clueless. BUT, I still like the panel! --Scott]

Skylar Jordan

  • Another bud will help me find them.
  • Help I cant think!!
  • O my god I'm freaking out here!
  • Who cares. I will just have a few more buds and stay the night here.
  • Here they are in my hand. Boy am I stupid.
  • Come on man cool down!
  • Man does this suck!
  • Aw well better party!
  • o0(I am in deep trouble)
  • (passed out)

    Nice site ma man.

Jeff Clear

    OK. Carl's in the bar in one thread and in the graveyard in another. Also, Carl's doppleganger is still in the background of the graveyard...we musn't forget him! This will be tricky.

  • Carl's Dad- motioning to twin- "I see your brother has found you."
  • Carl's Dad- gesturing to twin- "I was able to clone you- cheating death was the next step." (Wordy, I know, but ties stuff together).
  • Carl's Dad- pointing to twin- "The fouled clone expeiment forced me into hiding."
  • Carl's Dad- acknowledging twin- "But if there are two of you, why not two of me?"
  • Carl's Dad- "Follow me Carl- Let me show you where I've been." (This one could lead anywhere!)

    Have a great week!

Saul Cohen

  • Of course, Carl cannot deal with the stress of a living father, so he says: "Sorry, Dad, but I'm just going to have to kill you again."


    i hope you like my idiotic suggestion

  • poison? maybe a drink of garlic vodka would do fine for me , Ohmigod dad what happen to you?
  • then out now where carl,s mom jump,s out n, drive a stake into dad,s heart
  • carl cries on mom .


  • "...but life gets a little dull on the island of the technically dead. Tupac's always starting a fight with Elvis..."
  • "..but you know how the red tape is in purgatory.."

Mike Webster

  • Stopped drinking. Can't call that livin'
  • Enter: Thor. Rhine Maiden, my horn of mead!
  • Breakfast of Champions over Ice-9
  • Sake wa tabetai zo!

LuKas Chen

  • Dadad: You see, the IRS is really easy to fool...

    sorry, class is getting to me, & I just got ZOT vol.1, so...

Jimmy Fusil

    The Brian Boitano panel was unexpected... but lame! It's a great, funny suggestion, and the little insert is funny, but come on... Inexcusable! Let's skip backwards in time on this one.

  • Caption: 10 years ago in a secret government lab. Image of Carl's father in a suspension vat labeled "Project (some letter)", tubes sticking out everywhere. (Hey! You can just copy any one of the panels of the Weapon X comics!)
  • Wavy flashback border. Dad's POV: Masked doctors gathered around the operation table. Flatlined heart monitor in corner "Gentlemen, let's get to work."
  • Same shot: "Artificial Neuroweb installed. Gentlemen, CyberDad is now operational."
  • Wavy FB Border: Tombstone:RIP Carl's Dad. Hand sticking out of Earth. Lightning. (You could make a little animated MPEG with a stroboscoping white screen to create a lightning effect.)
  • Dad's corpse being zombified by black magic witch cutting off the head of a chicken.
  • Lame South Park suggestion (since everyone likes them so much): Flashback: Dad's corpse being eaten by rats. Mom: Oh my God! They killed Daddy. Carl (child): You Bastards!

    DAD: ZOMBIE CYBORG! No more South Park!!! (Don't get me wrong, the movie and "Jesus vs. Santa" were hilarious, but the show is terrible!

[See above. --Scott]

Cat Jan R.

  • Show a panel that has a tombstone reading "R.I.P, DAD." Have Carl say "TECHNICALLY!? Your tombstones RIGHT THERE!"
  • "I'm actully a much older you from the future.."
  • Show a close up with Carl having vampire teeth, using the "god I need a drink" dialog.

brad purkey

  • but don't tell anyone you saw me here, son. I'm in the witness protection program.
  • your mother told you I was killed by a drunk driver to teach you a how are things?
  • I did die for a few minutes...but the doctor's revived me.
  • I staged my death because your mother was driving me to drink.
  • so, what'll ya have, son.
  • in your mother's eyes I died, when she found out I am a drag performer.
  • in your mother's eyes I died, when she found out I was a gigalo.
  • in your mother's eyes i died, when she found me in bed with her brother.
  • in your mother's eyes I died, when she found me in her silk panties.
  • but, hey, things change... Sometimes for worse, sometimes for better.

Travis W. Howard

  • ..but TECHNICALLY you're adopted. Now shaddap and get me another beer, ingrate!
  • but I don't think a blood alcohol content level of 24.8 should qualify me dead, do you?
  • [Dad] .. I need a drink! [Carl] Me too! [fangs showing]
  • if you go by *WEBSTERS* definition, but then again I never learned to read.
  • [Carl, overjoyed] Wow Dad, this is great! [Dad thinking] Ugh! Is my bladder FULL! [lettering done in a watery effect/ripple]
  • [Dad]..say, do you have cab fare? [Carl, smiles, jingles keys] I'll drive! [Dad, thinking] He's THAT old?!?
  • [Dad]..that isn't a black widow spider on your shoulder, either.. [thinking] brat.
  • [Dad] ..but when Mr. Gotti says go, you go, capiche'?
  • [Dream Sequence, wavy border, not square] [Dad, to FBI guy] Tell me about this Witness Protection thing again?
  • [Dad, in a panic] You won't tell your mother I've been here the last 10 years will you?? [Looks like Neil's Guilt Panel]

    Getting ready to begin my 24 hour comic :) Wish me luck..

[GOOD LUCK, TRAVIS!! Don't forget to buy lots of snacks and put on cool music! --Scott]

Jonathan L. Miller

    Hey Scott, sorry it's been so long since my last suggestion. Any progress in getting the Zot 4 book printed and/or the film back?

  • Dad: "But then, technically,so are you..." I suppose this sets up an "Enter: Deadman" situation.
  • Dad: "I mean, I did kind of disappear 7 years ago, so for legal purposes..."
  • Dad: "But that's not important right now. It's time for you to fulfill your destiny, Carl..."

    Ok, that's enough for now. Boring, but they'd all work....

[No news on Zot! Book 4, no. Unfortunately that could take a while. --Scott]

Gregg Lamse

  • Dad: I'd like you to meet my fiancee, Daisy.
  • Dad: It's time for you to join me...
  • Dad: Your mother has always believed in recycling. [Mother is in background, maybe dirt on face/ glasses askew]
  • Daisy: I rebuilt him. Now it's time to fix you!
  • Mother: [untidy/ glasses askew] I've always believed in recycling.
  • Dad: Someone defiled my grave. I must be avenged.
  • [This suggestion intentionally left blank]
  • [The Microsoft beast from section 2 erupts out of father's body.] "...but it's impossible to kill a bad idea!"
  • Carl: Undead! You try scrubbing them out... wiping them out...
  • [The totally forbidden suggestion :)]Thor wakes up screaming "Help! I've burst into flame! Whew! It was all a dream! On the other hand, maybe not..."


    These cartoons are wild! A friend of mine told me about your chess cartoon. (I'm a chess master from Toronto Canada.) I've never seen anything like that before.

  • "Drink Tequila 'till his face was blue --- That's What Brian Boitano would do!!!!
  • A triple lutz and then down a few --- That's what Brian Boitano would do!!!!
  • A Vodka shot or maybe two --- That's what Brian Boitano'd do !!!!
  • Dad, My drinking days are through --- That's what Brian Boitano'd do !
  • I think he might say "Carl Who?" That's what Brian Boitano'd do.
  • Just drink milk from a cow (MOO!) That's what Brian Boitano'd do.
  • Say, "Dad I wanna be just like you" That's what Brian Boitano'd do
  • Take a wooden stake and run Dad through That's what Brian Boitano'd do
  • Give up beer and start anew That's What Brian Boitano'd do
  • Find Dad's friend "Werewolf" in the zoo That's what Brian Boitano'd do

    Say "kiddies should not South Park view" That's what Brian Boitano'd do, That's what B.B'd do.

Elijah Chandler

    Pretty screwy stuff, but I'm a pretty screwy guy, so I like it.

  • Dad:"...but I was just ignoring your damn whining."
  • Dad:"Not dead, just left the country to get away from your mother."
  • Dad: "Kinda dashes your hopes of me being a secret agent huh?"
  • Dad: "Hey pal, you ordering a drink or not?" Carl: "A pint of your blood" with teeth pointy and sticking out...

    I really have a good relationship with my father, despite my suggestions...

Perry Whittle

  • Carl (running off): "Wait til I tell mom you're back!"
  • Carl (sternly): "Have you been DRINKING?"
  • Carl, as he clinks glasses with Dad: "Here's to your return!"
  • Carl, looking past Dad to a vampiremobile: "Wow! Is that your car?"
  • Carl: GASP! "Is MOM undead, too?"

Tony Becker

  • DAD (calmly talking to an obviously dumbfounded Carl): You see, after faking my death I moved to Bora Bora using the insurance money.
  • CARL (with anger toward DAD): Technically? Either you're dead or you're not! Which is it?
  • DAD (pulling a small, jewel-encrusted bottle out of his pocket): ...but this magic potion brought me to life!
  • DAD (sprouting horns on his forehead):...but I'm an agent of Satan now!
  • DAD (touching CARL on the shoulders): You see, your life is really just a 24-hour TV show!

Jenny Jo

    My Uncle's name is Carl.

  • "...But bio-technology has come a long way." (picture of a jar or flask labelled "Carl's Dad")
  • Here's an interesting one...Carl says "Huh?"
  • "...But I was really only *mostly* dead." (in my world, little stars mean italics. :-)

    Whoah, these new submissions forms are very elaborate! Oh, and I think I might draw a 24-hr comic, as I'm going to have a few days all by myself in my new apartment before my roommates move in so I won't be disturbed...granted, I have never really drawn a comic before, and I'm not much of an artiste...but it's just nutty enough to do. Maybe I'll discover my hidden talent.

[Interestingly enough, many artists have indeed discovered hidden talents through the 24-Hour Comics. Hope you give it a shot! --Scott]

Doug Waldron

  • Dad: "... but then the government returned my brain, and here I am!" Carl: "Wow."
  • Dad: "... but then the aliens returned my brain, and - Oh no! They're back!"
  • Dad: "... for about 35 seconds on the operating table. But could you stick around to see if I survived? Nooo. You didn't want to be late for the movie. WELL, I HOPE IT WAS GOOD!!!" Carl: "It was okay."
  • Dad: "But then, I -- Huurkk!!" Dad grasps his chest and falls over dead. Oh! The irony! Oh! The tragedy!

Todd Webb

    I'm gonna do a 24-hour comic this summer. I'll send you one.

  • Dad: "Since when has death stopped anyone in OUR family?" Carl: "Good point."
  • Close-up of dad with fangs "So how 'bout a BITE to eat, son?"
  • Carl says : "My what big teeth you have..."
  • I don't really have another one, I just felt like typing some more...
  • Enter: Thor Just kidding! :-)

    Did you ever get your copy of The Stockboy? If so, what'd ya think? If not, no bigee, you'll get it sooner or later. Bye for now, Todd (:0)- - Cornerstone Comics

[Hi, Todd. Yup. Got it and enjoyed it, but more than that I cannot say, cause I'm cleaning my room and we all know what that means. Major mess. Note to all Carl posters, I think I'm going to allow links in posts for a while to see how it goes. No ads please though.--Scott]

Mark Rosenfelder

  • Carl: That's it! I'm off the sauce!
  • Dad: I'm here to *warn* you, Carl. Beware! Carl: What? What?
  • Dad: I'm on a mission of *vengeance*! Carl: Cool!
  • Carl: You left us! Dad: Left who?

Rob Clough

    Scott, will you be at SPX this year?

  • Carl's dad shrugs and says, "But didn't we ALL die a little when they cancelled the Beverly Hillbillies?"
  • Carl's dad opens up his shirt, revealing a see-through chest containing mostly gears and gizmos, and says "...since my existence as half-man, half-machine can barely be considered living!"
  • Carl's dad scowls and says, "Because that's what your mother WANTED you to think!"
  • Carl's dad takes on an enigmatic expression and says "But what is life? What is death? Here, have a Jaegermeister!"
  • Carl's dad becomes enraged and says, "Yes! I am dead! AND YOU KILLED ME!"

[SPX is my favorite convention and I will be there if possible but it may be a struggle this year (timewise and moneywise). We'll see. --Scott]

Daniel M. Laenker

    The last two may or may not be a joke.

  • Repeat the vampire clip.
  • Dad drives Carl (in the funky Volvo, of course!) to a scientific laboratory. "I have to show you something, son," he says. "You might not like it."
  • Enter: Buffy. (You never said otherwise...)
  • Carl wakes up from a dream, only to encounter Thor, bursting in flame. Carl's only thought: "On the other hand... maybe not."

    Some alteration on Dad's second sentence would work, as long as it keeps in the flavor, i.e. "Come with me" or "Prepare yourself" or the like.

Tod Caviness

    Great. Just popped in for a quick look while the pasta was cooking and now look what you've done. You owe me one half hour of sleep, sir. Ahem. Okay, let's see...

  • Dad: "...but then, so's your mother..." (as her zombified corpse looms up behind Carl)
  • Dad: "er...say, how about a nice game of scrabble?"
  • Dad: "but then, so is Elvis!!!" (as he strips to his purple sequined jumpsuit)


  • Carl's dad says: Speaking of dead loads, how's your mother?
  • Carl's dad thinks: Seeing what a dork my son turned out to be makes me wish I had died.
  • Carl pulls out a gun and aims it at his father: I guess mom didn't finish the job!
  • Carl's father says: I should be dead but the Yeti saved my life. Come to think of it, the Yeti GAVE you life.
  • Carl's father says: Well on that note even, technically technically I'm really your brother and father.
  • We see a cutaway of Carl's father's head and inside there are two alien creatures arguing. The one alien creature at the controls is being scolded by the leader alien. The leader alien says: You fool! Don't make him sound so smart, it will blow our cover.
  • Carl's dad explodes taking out the whole town!
  • Carl's father says: "HoHoHo. Merry Christmas. It's time to dance little man." And shoot's Carl.

    Sometimes I dream of a greater world where little robots are free. Don't you dream Scott? Don't you dream of a better world with a little more robots and a little less "boy pop/rock groups"? I do.

Michael Avolio

  • DAD: ...But, hey, this is COMICS!
  • Carl points a weapon at Dad. CARL: Spare me the details, Pops.

    That's all for now...

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