This week's panel suggested by

  • Tod Caviness
  • Barry Deutsch
  • honorable mention to Bill Schlimme whose suggestion included the phrase "Holy Water..."
  • ...and to all those who had the same general idea with the "Garlic-Flavored" whatevers.

Thanks for a Great Section!

As always, suggestions are listed in the order they were received.

Thanks for playing and...
please join us again on Sunday, August 8th for
Section 4!

Sunday 07/25/1999

Matt Latterell

    Whoo! KILL CARL!!!! Whoo!

  • Carl: Ah, so it finally comes out, you never did die!
  • Carl: I wonder what life would be like if we lived in that other path through the comic?
  • Carl: Dad!? So this the dream you set out to pursue when I was a fetus?
  • Carl: Hey, why were we so surprised to see each other anyway?
  • Carl: WAIT! ONLY VAMPIRES TALK LIKE THAT!!! Dad: No, it's slang Carl: Okay forget it...
  • Carl: Just gimme a little of each.
  • Carl: What's that stuff you alway let mom drink...oh yeah! Give me a turpentine!
  • Dare Officer: Wait Carl!!! DARE to resist it!
  • Dare Officer: Yeah give me one too, that DARE thing really wore me out.
  • Insane Protestors: I blame this violent Carl cartoon for the problems of our youth!
  • Carl: How much insurance is there on this place....we could burn it and take a vacation!

Nat Gertler

    Enter Thor already!

  • Carl: Have you ever drunk Old Grandad? Dad: Yes! he was tangy!
  • Carl: Boric acid! Dad: But that's COCKROACH POISON!
  • Carl: I'd like Schlitz... Dad (pulling gun on liquor store guy) GIVE US ALL YOUR SCHLITZ, NOW!
  • Carl: Oh, anything that can wash down these barbituates!
  • Carl: I like to drink fermented Dr. Pepper.
  • Carl: I feel like a Manhattan.
    Native American behind the counter: That will be $24 in beads, please!
  • Carl: Actually, I like drinking HUMAN BLOOD!

    This is tricky, given that dad may or may not be dead depending on the path.

Scott Kinoshita

    Is it me, or are theses sections getting harder and harder to connect?

  • Carl: "Hmmm... I think I'll take the RED wine" (goes with the vampire frame)
  • It actually IS poison. But as there are several more frames to go, very slow acting poison.
  • Carl: "Is it your treat, TECHNICALLY?"
  • Carl: "What? Only from the 1/2 off crap??" (Look at the sign next to where Carl's dad is gesturing)
  • Carl's Dad: "You sobbered up pretty quick there, son. Where'd all the funny 'drunk' bubbles go??"

[I agree, Scott. They're definitely getting harder! --Scott]

Andy Willett

  • Closeup on Carl, looking paranoid. Thought bubble: "Poison? He's trying to kill me!"
  • Carl: "Strychnine."
  • Carl: "Sterno!" [which could lead in to all kinds of fire-based plot twists, or possibly an appearance by Roger and Carmela]

dan wheeler

  • carl looks closely at a bottle of tequila but instead of a worm .... carl: MY KEYS!
  • the real manager of the liquor store comes out of the back room clearly pissed. manager: hank! for the last time if you don't leave i'm going to call the police!
  • carl reaches for a bottle of Booker's™ small batch bourbon. price tag-$$$$$$$ carl's dad: umm.... O.K. but how about this instead? My Treat! carl's dad holds up a bottle of mad dog 20/20. price tag-¢
  • carl reaches for a bottle. carl's dad: NOT THAT ONE! they both disappear down a trap door.

Day (age 24)

    Actually you'll find that Keanu is an FBI agent.

  • A double of cyanide with an arsenic chaser pop.
  • That's how you got mom, I ain't going out like that.
  • Can I drive on that?

Markus Gerwinski

  • Carl with a bottle, drinking. Thought balloon: "Strange. It just tastes like..."
  • Dad stands behind Carl, both arms overloaded with bottles, while Carl is still taking more of them out of the shelf and passing them to his Dad. Carl, regarding a bottle: "I always wanted to try this one!"
  • A close-up of Carl's face. Above a thought ballon with the "Promise me..." panel. Carl's "I promise" echoes out of the balloon all over the rest of the panel. (I know, I already posted this one, but I still think it's good.)
  • Carl points at a shelf with a sign: "Blood group" and a label above each row of bottles: "A", "B", "0" etc. Carl: "I thought this is a liquor store!" Behind him, Dad opens his mouth, baring his vampire teeth, ready for attack. (I know, I already posted this one...)
  • Suddenly, the bottle shelf tips over, bottles falling out towards Carl and Dad, who raise their arms to protect their faces. Carl: "Watch out!" (I know...)

    Scott, last week you wrote, you'd allow links in posts, as long as they're not ads. I'm currently working on my homepage (hoping I'll be ready soon enough to launch it this millenium), and it contains an announcement of my first novel, which will be published in September '99. Is this already an ad, or could I post a link there without getting you angry?

[Whoops. Mispoke there. I meant links were okay so long as the Carl suggestions themselves didn't become ads. I'm not going to police what's on your sites (gaah, what a thought!). Plug away! --Scott]

Morgan Doninger

    Just one today, I'm supposed to be writing.

  • CARL and DAD are passed out on the floor from hours of drinking, and CARL's MOM finds them. MOM: "I knew it, I knew it..."

Doug Waldron

    This strip really needs aliens.

  • Carl: "I'll have a -- *Gasp!* -- Daisy?!" Daisy is working at the counter: "Carl?!"
  • Carl: "I'll have a -- *Gasp!* -- Mom?!" Mom is working at the counter: "Carl?! Henry!?!"
  • Carl: "I'll have a -- *Gasp!* -- Dad?!" An exact duplicate of Dad is working at the counter. Dad2: "Carl?! Me!?!"
  • Carl: "I'll have a -- *Gasp!* -- poison?!" Dad (thought balloon): "He's on to me!"
  • Carl: "I'll have a -- Huurkk!!" Carl grasps his chest and falls over dead.
  • Carl: "I'll have... your heart!" Carl whips out a wooden stake. Dad: "Carl?!"
  • FBI agent (holding a gun): "Alright! Everyone on the floor!!" Dad: "The FBI?!"
  • Alien (holding a ray gun): "Zztop! Return my zzpaceship immediately!" Dad: "Zzargon?!"
  • Carl: "I'll have a -- *Gasp!* -- Dad?!" Dad's head falls off. Dad's body: "Dang!"
  • Carl (looking at sign): "Half-off, huh? Gee, thanks Dad."

    That's the most exclamation points I've ever suggested.


  • Carl wants to drink Mad Dog 20/20. Purple flavored Mad Dog 20/20


    Hey, I've only been posting spoaradically recently. Better do a bigger one this week. Oh yeah, I'm doing a 24 hour comic!

  • Carl has an emotional breakdown, smashing bottles and screaming that he "Can't take the pressure!" or something insane of that nature. (Hey, he's been through a lot.)
  • Carl smiles and says, , "I want 'em all!"
  • Carls dad says, "My treat, but don't buy too expensive. I'm real short of cash since I got 'downsized'." Can that all fit into one tiny panel?
  • "Infact, I like this place so much I'll buy it!" Carl's dad says.
  • Carl's dad quietly shows he has a gun and says, "I can't PAY for it though..."

    Hey wow, my suggestions are getting heady...


  • Well, I've never been one to refuse a fifth!
  • Hmm? How about rat poison?
  • This kind of decision is better made drunk!
  • Maybe some "blood" poisoning!
  • This forty is so good I gotta bust a cap in here!
  • You know, children, drinking a beer is like making love to a woman!
  • Eat this poisoned hot dog! It is nutritious and will surely be tasty!
  • Eat this hot dog because I want you to die, motherf*cker!!
  • Dad, I have a sudden urge to kill you and then rape mother!
  • Dad, I'll kill myself before I watch you go through the effects of late-stage alcoholism again!

Jenny Jo

    Ivy's in Three Musketeers? How neat! I just finished reading the book myself...I do hope she's not playing Milady...

  • "Gosh, I dunno...I'm gonna be driving..." (the visual probably be a lot like the Brian Boitano panel...err, but without Brian Boitano.)

    On the other hand, if we get enough booze in the picture, they *might* burst into flame...

Jimmy Fusil

    Absolutely uninspired...

  • Carl: Actually, I'm just looking for my keys.

    Hey, it makes sense...

The Mystic Mongoose

  • Carl says "Your treat... or your TRICK?" as he notices his father doesn't cast a reflection in the shiny liqour-store refrigerator glass. (Though this may be tricky to conevy in a panel that small...)

Tod Caviness

    Hoooooboy. Last week was easy but this is like playing plotline pente now ...

  • Closeup up of Carl's hand reaching for a bottle of Mad Dog. Behind it is a small sign:'Secret lever to batcave'. Carl's Dad screams, "Not that one!!!"
  • Carl's Dad: "You may choose the red bottle ... or the blue one ..." (Anybody seen The Matrix?)
  • Carl eyes a bottle of Absolut HolyWater ...
  • The proverbial tiny devil & angel appear on Carl's shoulders. Angel:"Remember your promise, Carl!"
  • As above. Devil:"Carpe diem, Carl!"

    Always looking for some good alternative comic art on the net. Any suggestions? Other than this nifty little site, that is.

[I plan to get my Links Section up before too long, where I'll be recommending a lot of sites. In the meantime, a great place to start exploring is where dozens of sites have "booths." If you want to be really thorough, decide on the ones you like, then follow their own recommended links. I've found that kind of upstream link journey to be especially rewarding. BTW, my favorite of the comicon sites is Cat Garza's Magic Inkwell. --Scott]

Patric Lewandowski

  • Carl picks up bottle and sees his keys in his hand throught the bottle. "Hey, there's my keys in this beer! I'll have to drink them out!!!!!"
  • Carl: "Poison? DAMMIT MAN, I NEED MY KEYS!!"
  • Carl: "Dad, I need your help. My keys are...... missing!" (music in background: "da da dummmmmmmmmmm!!!"

    nice how I brought it back to the missing keys, eh?

Piers Beckley

    Obvious I know, but...

  • Close-up on a shelf filled with bottles, each marked with the skull and crossbones. Beneath each bottle the word of an animal: Rat, Cat, Duck-billed platypus

Jacob Leloux

  • With a glass in his hand Dad says:" Look what I learned to do in heaven!" He blows through his nose, while keeping it shut with his fingers and changes into Elvis Presley. He growing fat too fast and explodes. RIP Carl and Dad.

Mark Rosenfelder

  • Carl (holding a bottle): Man, I didn't know they MADE garlic wine!
  • Carl: I'll have some red! Dad (grinning evilly): So will I!

Winter (age 3 for 1 more week!)

  • bla bla bla bla bla
  • No!! Zotty and Molly sky werty
  • Promise you won't drink and drive Carl. wqafds
  • wq3rdxtyrtewretinw

    As you can tell Winter decided to co-type her suggestions this week. I love how she almost managed to spell her name backwards in the last one.

Sky (age 6)

  • Carl says "I thought I was a vampire"

Ivy (age: do you really need to know?)

    We missed being here, nice to be back!

  • Carl: I suddenly have a strange urge for a Bloody Mary.

    In case Scott or I haven't mentoned it yet: the whole gang will be at San Diego in a few weeks. We will be sharing a space with the amazing and God-like Larry Marder, so drop by and say hi if you're around. Hey, if I ever manage to talk Scott into a Carl T-shirt, mug or poster, would anyone, besides me be interested?

Ivy again

    Just a comment: I just read all of last week's sugestions, and, though I am sad that Brian B. was a South Park reference (I'm not a fan), I am a fan of Brian's and have been for a VERY long time. He's an amazing athlete and performer. Anyone who doesn't know who he is should try to find some tapes of him in previous Olympics or such competitions. He is a world-renowned and world class skater! (There, I now descend from my soapbox).

[I really like Boitano's skating too, especially that lean back swervy thing he does (though our all-time favorite was probably Midori Ito). On the other hand, now that I've seen the South Park movie, I've got to admit that's a great song (both versions -- the credits version rocks). I also like "Blame Canada." --Scott]

Bill Schlimme

  • Carl: "you know, I have the strangest yearning for a bloody mary..." Dad: "Haha, like father, like son!"
  • Carl: "maybe I really shouldn't, I promised Mom..." Dad: "Your mothers dead, son: live a little!"
  • Carl: "How about that garlic-flavored schnapps...?" Dad starts hissing.
  • Mom, in full van Helsing regalia (cross, garlic, wooden stake): "Carl, step away from your father NOW!" Carl: "Mom? But I thought you were dead!"
  • Mom, in full van Helsing regalia (cross, garlic, wooden stake): "Carl, step away from your father NOW!" Dad, aside: "Curses!"
  • Mom, appearing out of nowhere: "How about a little HOLY WATER?!" Carl, ignoring his father's hissing: "Uh, no thanks, mom -- MOM??!!"

Douglass Barre (Age 28, but closing in)

    You know, Scott, I'm on vacation on the opposite coast and I'm still scrambling to find an internet link so I can make the Carl deadline. In fact, I can very easily see myself leaping into Carl's car, thinking, "Maybe my ex-girlfriend's house has a working account" or "Mom didn't say anything about drinking and hacking the Best Buy computer for Internet access..." We need "Carl Junkie" t-shirts or something to identify us all. By the way, Scott... anyone can post links in their entries? But don't we KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN???

  • Of course, there's the panel of the bubbling vial, strange smokes wafting up from it, with a peeling label in some language that Bob Lappan never lettered... CARL (o/s): "How about THAT one, Dad?"
  • CARL pondering, his dad leering over his shoulder. CARL (thinking): "You know, Mom did say something about drinking and DAD..."
  • CARL pointing at his DAD in an accusing manner. CARL: "Free beer? Now I know your secret!"
  • Inside a bottle we see DAISY, trapped, pounding to get out. CARL's hand reaching for the bottle next to her.
  • We see a mysterious figure watching CARL and DAD in the liquor store security cam. He folds his hands together in the universal position of evil overlords. EVIL OVERLORD: "Yes, Carl... choose... YOUR DOOM!" Ahem. Sorry.
  • CARL looks at a bottle labelled "CYANITE - the low cost cyanide substitute", and thinks to himself, "She never said anything about poison and driving..."
  • A MONSTER HUNTER, dressed in safari gear, bursts in the liquor store door. MONSTER HUNTER: "I've tracked you down at last, fiend! Prepare to face me!" Perhaps CARL and DAD can look questioningly at each other in the foreground.
  • Okay, here's my "tie things together" suggestion. We see DAD with his arm around CARL's shoulders from the back. In DAD's other hand, we see CARL's keys! DAD is saying, "What a coincidence I found you Carl." CARL replies, "Yes, Dad, I was about to do something I'd regret..." Not exciting, but at least fairly connective.
  • And, to go in the entire opposite direction... CARL's watch flashes a bright beam of light to the ceiling. CARL: "Sorry, Dad, but the Council of Twelve is calling on my services!"
  • CARL impatiently lambasts his DAD. CARL: "Thanks, Dad, but first do you have an Internet connection I can use?"

    Well, as this is the last slot this time around, we probably won't continue until after San Diego, where I hope to see you, Ivy and the girls. Travel safe and see you (with your cookie, of course) soon!

Barry Deutsch

    By the way, Scott, the Brian Boitano ref isn't to a recent episode you've missed; it's to the original pilot, "Jesus vs. Santa." Although they recapped it in the movie.

  • Carl looks at the shelf, which in closeup has rotting meat, skulls with flies zipping around 'em, a severed hand with a candle and any other gross artifacts you wanna stick in interspersed with the bottles. CARL: Umn...
  • Carl points to a bottle shaped like the elephant that squashed him in part one. "I want THAT one!" (Yeah, I know I already suggested this one. So I'm consistant - so sue me.)
  • CARL: (Noticing em lying on the shelf) Hey, my KEYS! Great!
  • CARL says, "This one looks good," grabbing a bottle that we can see is labled "holy water." (For those of us still stuck on the whole vampire thing).
  • I'm obsessed with the stuff on that shelf... Carl looks at the bottles, which are labled "Maybe not," "Flameburst," "Dream-all," and "Thor." CARL: None of these look very good.
  • For a change of pace, a panel where nothing happens. Carl considers his choices, holding one hand on his chin and saying "hmmn."
  • Back to the shelf. Carl notices some ticking contraption with wires and a clockface behind the bottles. Carl: That's a bomb! We gotta get out of here!
  • Carl says, "It's hard to choose... there are so MANY." The word "many" is a hyperlink to . (BTW, Scott, loved the Brian B. hyperlink, but next time maybe you so something like that you could make it a pop-up-new-window link, so we don't leave your site?).

    Since you're now including hyperlinks, let me suggest to everyone that you check out my favorite (current) obscure daily strip, "Bruno":
    So how'd you like "Run Lola Run?"

[I loved Run Lola Run! My favorite quirky independent film since Slingblade. Also loved Eyes Wide Shut, by the way, despite the despicable violence done to it by the MPAA and WB. --Scott]

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